Growing up, I had the privilege of staying with both my father and mother. As I now know, not too many people had or have this privilege. Being in this environment of seeing both parents live and operate together has definitely shaped my perspective which is quite different from most people with which I associate. Obviously, most of these individuals grew up in a single parent home.
When talking about my view of marriage I’m often perceived to be talking in fairy-tale language, but which I know to be true because I’ve seen it. My parents have been married for 36 years and counting, so their level of mental fitness is at an above average level. And although they have lived up to this point together, I can say that it wasn’t always easy, but they had enough mental endurance to bear the trials of marriage and become mentally stronger.
So then, why is marriage viewed as a primitive idea now? Well, it all starts with the individual. From my experiences with not only my parents but also others who have been married for many years, is that the average person in this day lacks the basic qualities to have a successful long-term relationship. One basic quality is thinking of the other person more than you think of yourself. This behavior is “supposed” to be reciprocal which balances out the relationship, however when dealing with someone selfish this can become stressful. The majority of people in relationships are selfish centered and not selflessness centered.
When speaking to my parents and others, when they say we are “one” they really mean we are one. Nothing about them says my or I. It says us and we. When I hear single people saying what they will and will not do once they’re married perplexes me as to why one would want to get married or what one thinks marriage is. We as a society are slowly dissolving one of the greatest forms of relationship into something that weak and fragile because we’re so self-centered. This means that we have to work on the individual before we can be proficient in any relationship.
Marrying your other half isn’t correct as the two individuals have to be whole in order for the relationship to work. I believe it’s time to learn what traditional marriage is, and learn to adapt to this idea instead of trying to transform marriage to fit our own selfish ideals. Marriage gives flesh to virtue. Therefore, if traditional marriage doesn’t work it means the “new” person doesn’t honor virtue, but live to their own reasoning. No man or woman has ever been a good god to them self. If someone who is single, learning to serve in humility is one lesson to be learned to be fit for marriage. As one who is already married, learn to speak in language as we and us instead of me. Be mentally fit.